JonathanBenz.com

Feedback from an Educator in Philadelphia on "I Was Bullied"

I've received amazing feedback on I Was Bullied over the last 48 hours. The article has had hundreds of reads and is being re-posted and used on different websites and forums.

Many adults who responded have shared with me how telling my story is giving them permission to heal from childhood wounds. I'm deeply touched by the feedback.

I'm going to be sharing some of the comments in an anonymous form and with permission as I think they will encourage people.

An educational specialist and students' advocate in the Philadelphia area sent me this:

I just read your post. It is absolutely beautiful! Do I have your permission to share it with some friends who I work with at the Education Foundation? We are planning to screen the movie, "Bully" sometime next year and have a film discussion and related book discussions as follow up. So many people have expressed an interest in the film already.

You so perfectly articulated the feelings of shame and the sting of those enduring "toxic words." I still carry very real insecurities that are a result of the three years I experienced ridicule and berating in my adolescence.

I absolutely agree with you about the power of forgiveness, but even an understanding of what might cause someone to reproach another human being doesn't erase the damage done to our self-image.

I am astounded by the numbers of young people suffering in silence today, and even more amazed that the bullies are still out there, hammering away at fragile souls. You definitely touched me with your story and I want to thank you for sharing it!

Yes friend, share this post with your school district and thanks for sharing your story with me and for working to prevent the kind of behavior that our country has tolerated for far too long!

The Bully Project

I plan on seeing Bully. It's interesting to me the widespread support the movie is receiving from both the right and left in this country. It seems our culture has reached a tipping point when it comes to bullying.

Here's the trailer:

 

More info from the Bully Project website:
Bullying involves an individual or a group repeatedly harming 
another person—physically (e.g. punching or pushing), verbally 
(e.g. teasing or name-calling), or socially (e.g. ostracizing or 
spreading hurtful rumors).
Bullying often does not happen in an isolated context with a 
single tormentor and victim. There may be multiple bullies or 
multiple victims, and there are almost always peers, adults, and 
other community members who know about the bullying taking 
place.  
Often, the victims of bullying are socially vulnerable because 
they have some characteristic that makes them different from 
the majority.
Young people who have physical or learning disabilities are 
also targeted more frequently, as well as students who are 
on the autism spectrum. Other times, there are no apparent 
characteristics that cause the target of bullying to be singled 
out by the tormentor.  Regardless, the person being bullied 
does not know how or does not have the power to make it stop.  

Mandela on Leadership

I recently watched the movie Invictus about how Nelson Mandela used rugby as one way to pull South Africans together, regardless of ethnic identity or political persuasion. The movie inspired me to believe for the impossible, especially when there seems to be so much vitriolic division in my own country.

I love these 8 lessons from Nelson Mandela on Leadership. The whole article can be found in Time Magazine here.

1. Courage is not the absence of fear - it's inspiring others to move beyond it.  2. Lead from the front - but don't leave your base behind. 3. Lead from the back - and let others believe they are in front. 4. Know your enemy - and learn about his favorite sport. 5. Keep your friends close - and your rivals even closer. 6. Appearances matter - and remember to smile. 7. Nothing is black or white. 8. Quitting is leading too.

Higher Ground

I enjoy films set in Southern culture and religion, especially when they are well done. I loved Robert Duvall in The Apostle a few years ago. I most recently enjoyed The Help and am told the book is even better.

I think Higher Ground looks worth-seeing as well.

The director Vera Farmiga states on the film's website:

Is it possible for faith and doubt to coexist? What is a healthy soul? What holds us back from inner growth? Christianity is the “location" of the film, not the subject, concern, or issue. 

She goes from there to quote Rilke on "living the questions themselves" (one of my favorite quotes).

So with Southern religion, speaking in tongues, and struggles with love, relationships, God and doubt, this one looks like a must-see.