Propelled by Discomfort

Sometimes I feel extremely restless. I long for more. I find myself wondering if there indeed is more--whatever more is.

Existential angst fills my soul and sometimes gives way to dread. 

That might not be the most motivational or positive-thinking statement of the year. But it's true for me nonetheless. 

I've also learned to not fear restlessness, angst, or dread.

Here's why: I believe they play a valuable role in our lives. They compel us to move forward. They keep us from remaining stagnant. The resulting discomfort forces us to grow, if we allow it.

M. Scott Peck said it this way:

The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled. For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort, that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different ways or truer answers.

I wish this weren't true. But it is. We human beings are designed in such a way that it sometimes takes a level of psycho-emotional-spiritual suffering to get us to make necessary moves.

I think this kind of inner darkness also serves another important purpose: It gives us empathy for others.

Carl Jung wrote, "Knowing your own darkness is the best method for dealing with the darknesses of other people."

Until we experience the dark night of the soul or fully embrace our inner restlessness, we really can't connect with the depth of human experience in ourselves or in other people. Refusing to journey through the valley of the shadow of death will keep us shallow, immature, and isolated from our full potential as human beings.

It's only when we tell the story of the darkness of our intense discontent that light can then break through.  Telling our story enables us to let go of the angst, despair, dread, and discomfort.

Richard Rohr described letting go in this way:

Letting go is different than denying or repressing. To let go of something is to admit it. You have to own it. Letting go is different than turning it against yourself; different than projecting it onto others. Letting go means that the denied, repressed, rejected parts of yourself, which are nonetheless true, are seen for what they are; but you refuse to turn them against yourself or against others. This is not denial or pretend, but actual transformation.

The religious word for this letting go is forgiveness. You see the imperfect moment for what it is, and you hand it over to God. You refuse to let any negative storyline or self-serving agenda define your life. This is a very, very different way of living; it implies that you see your mistakes, your dark side, but you do not identify with either your superiority or your inferiority.

Don't fear the darkness of your soul. It serves a greater purpose.

Call it what it is.

Know that it does not singularily define you.

Receive it as a gift to move you forward.

Take it as the change agent to transform your life.